If given opportunities of study of my contained blog complete, as described the masks of earthly realities in the Castaneda writings . compare the masks in the uranthia in light of arils words and discover... Many a mask abound even in phychatropic drugs no portraing of histories completeness.
And when earth has reached its final moments, the sepulcher's will be cinder rock and no records on remain. there will be fables of from our history what not to do or be like on some distant planet systems far, far away .But know, that matters not for life continues anyway. You may awake from an afternoon nap and be someplace different. Run to the next room of people, your wife, her cone-head lover, your child and a woman with silver sequin skin and yell to them ‘what year is it!’ and they stand, dumbfounded at the question. You respond with adamance dammit its important and ask again, and they respond 1738 and you know for sure from that moment on things have suddenly changed. For your awareness has moved.Jesus, release us from the entrapment of the ‘old domain’ into eternal spirit memory. Let us discover ourselves complete. No matter how despicable we have been. How can humanity ever change without self knowledge of our eternities memory. If you are him it would be possible. That is a true savior saving. Collapsed staircase - 5/3/26No foundation of the feeling of supporting love and without knowledge's both. Was always ‘on my own’ from day one. So therein made plenty of mistakes. Where is and what is justice, where is and what is truth. Do we know, have we began to know anything, and we do not know the age of our own spirits. Are the hardships of life justice. We don’t even know. The ancient wooden staircase goes down to the centers of life then upward into the healing light. What becomes of one told they cannot open the door into light. Are they recycled with memory or travel into the elsewhere worlds. Maybe some are from elsewhere anyway. At least two are, me and another. And someday the youth mind will hopefully mature into the thoughts of the constructs of life and not the woods and metal materials. Even a different seat on the precipice overlook of pondering reflection and mediation... After seeing the meadow and mountains return once again to a molten glow of solid smoldering lava and ash-smoke who will be granted anything of a different chance to see a mountain or meadow once again. Do not know. No need to be paranoid or vain - it's not about you. It is all of us. Every one's future is different. We are none of the same. Every spirit age is different. Not necessarly the age of it's years.
Hopeless helpless depressed with no one to reflect with. Need you to reflect face to face and you will not even gift a thought. Today has been a completely depressing experience. It is almost the 4th of 5/26 2300 hours plus of the 3rd. There is no purpose to live. No motivations for additional anythings. Buspar is my only relief from chemical stress and the dreads of non-joys of the realities. Heaviness surrounds – at least it hasn’t been a liminal feeling day. Think just will take some meds, sit outside with the portable heater and try to enjoy a smoke… now returning after a few moments with a bright moonlight. The sounds of travelers and my clamors in the chilly spring-night air. Would have been nice to have had a small, contained campfire for additional company. The burn ban has been lifted for our county, but it is still very dry on this hilltop. The portable electric heat was good for in such moods a chill is very unwelcome. And have taken 30mg of buspar from the mood of downs a boost is much needed. Being one with me there are no gods to consult any longer. That just brings additional depressions. Wouldn’t be nice to feel loves right now, yes it would. . 5/2/26 - the damned of realities
Cosmic shimmer sine and spiral
from the ether's of eternity
return into the temples, memories
of all infinite time of spirit experience
enlighten every one of themselves
from the new sky of obsidian eyes
for we are to be void not, once again
and again, and again... once again. In the struggles of daily lives
erased the knowledge's of
Themselves of the forever
life spirit memories without
knowing, until Aril told
the story of the many
and their circumstance
and perhaps someone
comes to circumvent
the events of from, of
this damned real.
. Today is 4/30/26 at about 4:30 a.m. and my self awareness is somewhat liminal. Have no idea why or what makes man unaware of their-selves. Think most do not even realize or even know they should question themselves in this way. Life is not a sitcom or even a movie and t.v. is partly to blame for this brainwash or so it seems. Responsibilities of ourselves...can we cast blame on this liminal feeling? It is a difficult struggle. An impossibility of self. Knowing the solidity of awareness and lack of as well I know it isn’t mental illness that is to blame. Having been gifted both feelings of solidity and liminal it gives awareness of our/this condition of being. The solidity is an amazing experience and it is lacking in everyone i can observe in my sphere of contacts. Maturity of not having casual acceptance of mental awareness - the lack there of, and actions of the need of admiration of the posture of life create nothing but waste. The solidity I have had gifted on occasion has within itself the experience of a completeness no man has today. It is unexplainable the difference for words do not convey another persons feeling experience. We are all brainwashed with this lack of completeness of self. And the masses are completely unaware. Some are afflicted to the point of criminal divergent action and others into mental illness all searching for themselves in completeness, but they are unaware consciously of their own need and its lack that is missing of self. A maturity, a responsibility of self and a will of solidity have all been erased for compliance of self situations. An example in myself is this ‘presence’ (for lack of a better word) of the communicators that respond to my self thoughts and clamors and my acceptance of this situation of – in normalcy of my everyday life. That is ‘crazy’ and anyone would agree. For when the will of solidity surfaces that is the for-most thought I have. How it is an insanity to be within this communication mode. The difference in mental and physical ‘feeling’ is immeasurable in both, the solid state and liminal ‘normalcy’ of every day. I see no one with the will and maturity I have felt when they let me be ‘left alone’. It isn’t in anyone anymore, not what have felt myself of myself when ‘they’ leave me alone. No one!... It is used against us, the need of ‘admiration’. No one is without it within their own peer group be it family, work, society in general or whatever.. call it, as I will right here a torture. Society in general is tormented in some way but yet complacent and they do not even know why. All of them. Think men are effected more completely than female from whatever the source of ‘effect’ it is, I do not know. In the united states we have lost our physical and mental health is all known by me. Is it the communicators technology...is it from a foreign country? Where from, unknown by me but its effect is seen everyday in the media of the u.s.a. of reporting society to itself. So this post will close here, and I hope you can ponder your self feeling and self awareness. Do you feel real? . some other place, life and time
Within the cosmic grace of emotion and the eternal spirit life perhaps our relationships can be more of completeness and oneness. Homes are set within the foundations of, and sometimes relationship must wait for a different circumstance for spiritual ways. The space between and the pull of togetherness aren’t always coherent within our life situation. In the next of lives may we share more of truth and be in a completeness of harmonies and joy. Perhaps some other system of living, completely different than earth. Someplace where we can share our spirit way within teaching of ourself and learning the knowledge of other spirit beings without prejudices influences and petty-ness of green emotion, jealousies, possessiveness, superiority and the like with more of admiration's reciprocalities for everyone and anyone who must move forward to gather and share the self spirit-ness and love of emotional growth. And that is what there is in my spirit this morning...may the day be kind 4/27/26. . If there is anything worth saying tonight 4/26/2026 it is this ‘be spiritual’. That does not say ‘be religious’. There is quite a difference. Know your personal self through selflessness. Work for the benefit of an impeccable life, a dutiful (to others) purpose. Do not expect or seek admiration of society and its ways. Give all that is possible for the benefit of those who cannot survive without help. Invest in others not bank accounts if you can. If all you can afford is five dollars a week buy peanut butter for a food bank. Someone else has nothing. Be an original, be with honesty. It is difficult to offer this, these words - ...a man once said ‘we teach best what we most need to learn’. That should explain my feelings at this moment. Know thy spiritual self. Start young, very young. There may be many who do nothing but take advantage and you cannot be sure of ‘them’. That is disheartening for sure. They are the thieves of many an item, both mental and physical. The truth to our life on earth may be in the first video below. It is depressing to say the least. But while we are here we need to make the best of ourselves anyway. It took me several weeks to get beyond the depression of that truth.
My life has not been my own having been used, abused and treated like an infant who is beyond their own decisions. Been stabbed in the back, harassed, bullied from a very young age but I can still help others and not isolate in fears. Death is my ally not mine enemy even though the visions of my next lives to live are despicable to imagine living. The truth of life will be forgotten when reborn and this is a terrible thing to know. . Ask myself, ‘how are you’, and there is no clear answer. Liminal at best. No strength mental or physical. Too tired to make coffee. Too tired to type these words, to think. ...--- and, so ten minutes have passed, made coffee, lit a smoke, took a pee. Still no answer. Is what you do how you feel? Have done nothing today and feel the same. Need something of a schedule but have none. Erratic sleep and awake without accomplishment of anything. In the sleep dreampt of an antenna, a tree and an old friend. Was taking the antenna out of the tree but still wanted to use it, to show the old friend it’s reception. The antenna was a spliced together yellow coated wire and very long, difficult to pull. As pulling it over it came with a five foot centipede attached on it. And on the further end was a very large rock and a torn open cardboard tube. The center roll of a roll of paper towels that was being pulled through the tree limbs. After thinking an impossible task, I awoke. The coffee and smoke are waking me up to feeling half way able to reflect. It’s what they call the blues I guess, about how usually feel. No motivation, no drive no purpose no reason to be other than just to be. All the dreams of a purpose have been relinquished to tiredness. And just hope death give an unknown purpose, a new revitalized energetic mystery. . It becomes to a depressing point where is no correct solution of a manipulated life but to continue life. The psychological game players – just accept it and move on is all you can do. Coping becomes a physical brain dullness, especially frontal lobe. A form of unusual stress. When they roll play to the point of acting like they are my victim even it gets psychologically very stressful and depressing. Would just desire to continue to visit the grocery to see what they come up with next! And the things of society you get to see get bizarre as well. Especially at Walmart, sluts with shorty shorts up their butt crack trying to show it all. Men trying to hide themselves in cover of hoodies. All with slap full shopping carts of junk. All using even two snap food stamp cards. That’s my town! Before sitting down to smoke and type this jumped into the buspar jar and feel much less stressed. . Sitting, wondering the existence of everything. And the before of this universe not spoken of elsewhere. Saying, thinking within the infinite spance of all and the eternal time of all even conjures limit within the thought of limitless. The words belittle the completeness of and the incompleteness of everything possible. The infinite unlimited universes and time of infinite eternity. All that is and all that isn’t exist at the precise same moment of now. What begins and what ends or if there is ending to anything or only change. Is there anything of nothingness possible? Ever? Is the nothing and everything the same thing at the precise same time? Without an observer does anything exist. Is the completeness of all analog, digital? One has to believe in an original thought creation/creator that was possibly alone? Within the nothing of everything that expanded into everything of less nothing? Shit if I know anything, anyway. can everything and nothing co-exist simultaneity and if it can it isn’t analog. Wouldn't think anyway. It would seem to be a medium of some sort with containment. Is the entirety playing out from a recorded medium in other words. Is the entirety of everything just scenario for another containing this seemingly ‘everything’? Why do Is-Be’s not address these issues? At least to explain their own origination. Sitting here feeling infinitesimally minutely small inside some ‘all’, simply pondering. Unable to think any more i just light a smoke and will make a coffee then post and rest.
It’s been a few moments of reboot. Had to. Was stricken suddenly with a feeling of complete dementia then nauseous. After suddenly as mentioned, a smallness extreme. And I’m stopping now to further regroup thought. . Dear friendly ones, one of my pondering’s lately involve the word ‘genesis’. The word itself invites moods of beauty and serenity. And considering the infinite eternity of time itself, wonder the limitless availability of time for multitudes of beginnings. To observe the time of before see a wide pathway of light behind your front-ward view extending into a past of forever. Along this imagined path there is a limitless knowledge to behold and invite into your thoughts of memories. For what is true learning but a remembering. There in time could lay trillions upon trillions of quadrillions of past beginnings. And realize there is no such thing as an original idea within infinite time. Everything is already whether aft or forward itself. You may have asked yourself how are some ‘prodigal’ with something we call a talent. It’s a simple continuation of their memories. But ponder a limitless genesis of beginnings and discover an infinite eternity of thought itself.. It's a better day than you realize...my working companions. Don't seek for retirements. Longevity is at stake. Retirements are a quick death to your physical and mental health! Say you may be roughly in the upper 40s and pondering what looks to be the easier way...well it isn't! Physical freedoms are an illusion! Seek instead mental and spiritual freedoms and while doing the daily task at hand say to yourself...ask yourself is this, today, my best of efforts? Seek to be impeccable at any task! Physical is all everyone else seeks. Be better! Be responsible! Your responsibilities are your secret mental treasures for your physical well-being! To all pleasure seekers WAKE THE FUCK UP! It is such a deluded aspect of life! Seek to be on the path of the Sage for the youth need leadership of a mature individual figure in their life. The fathers,...where are mature fathers? All seeking to be and act as young as they can be for as long as possible. What a delusional selfish response to the path of maturity. And to summarize...have the will of the Wren and spirit temperaments of the Sparrow. Yes, if it sounds like my ass is chapped you are correct! . Apparent loss of natural way in the humanities from so many deep fakes who just manipulate the goodness of spirit. They wish to isolate, separate a good natured individual from helping anyone. Why and what is their true agendas no one knows but them. But it definitely isn’t to better society. The few of us who see the in/of conscious manipulations they wish to harass us so it can continue to remain secret and more so effective. Is there anyone un-manipulable immune to this effective shifting of originality. Probably not. Wish we all had original clarity of our own selves but it seems lost. Lost and spreading selfish isolationism in society. The manipulators fear brotherhood of group knowledge. . The divergent, the common and the sage
Lets consider a busy city street scene. There is a shop owner along the street working on his high above business sign replacing a light-bulb climbing an old shaky tall ladder. Along the sidewalk are walking hundreds of pedestrians. There are but three types in the world to pass by. The ass holes who would shake the ladder and run, laughing at the dastardly deed. Those that simply pass by ignoring the situation and nervous man on the ladder, and the select few who would offer to steady it with hands of support. So are you a ladder shaker an ignorer or a supporter. Something to ponder. . It was mentioned to me of ‘control’. And pondering of thought the only controls we normal humans have is simply what we may learn. There is no natural control of outcome of any situation because you never know what others may do. But we can learn from anything and everything, that is the only real control of our own life even. You may say what of decisions and one can begin the argument of free will or destinies predetermined. My personal view is that free will only resides in the mundane simpleness of actions, minuscule amounts only. After viewing so much of synchronicities everywhere in life it’s hard to think otherwise. Even have experienced ‘forced’ synchronicities by manipulators trying to harass a foul mood or response even perhaps. Natural asynchronous can even portray a deep enlightened experience in and of nature itself. But all to say of manipulations is they must be real jerks of smallness to be the way they are. The type who must belittle anyone to give themselves any feeling of worthiness. Insecure and jealous type of individuals. They run in broods to bolster each others egos with laughter. But if you read this please don’t give in to them with a sudden reaction for there is no correct response to such ignorant individuals other than to analyze the situation later when it has passed. Reaction from their target is their reward! So do not! . My thoughts on god are simple. Seek the god not before the earthly one but the one beyond. One who needs no nemesis for the darkness is just a choice of tones or shades, not mood modification. Yes, there are visions responsible and gifted thought interjections of a creation of life in a different long ago time. The earthly preaches eternal life in afterlife, but do not consider eternity infinite time, nothing of before. Thinking instead life beginning is upon the human birth. The alien interview video or pdf explains a different scenario and just fits to truth, some of truth anyway. My life may end soon. May be a marked man for execution, who knows. I do not know.
something is dfferent. the external outdoor communicator is being very quiet. feeling is different as well. trouble must be on the way. today is 4/1/2026 30 minutes until midnight DST EST
Having been manipulated in moods for so long I am now completely worthless feeling of my self unless the harassment is seriously severe. Or are they giving me this worthless feeling as well. The before topic of these feelings was my life as a father from the very day of my son’s birth, but there is more to it than a self reflection.
.
Under this manipulation you feel no true sense of self. And they will not let you change from self life reflections. Found a great book. Will post a link below from amazon. It’s simply chocked full of information of self realizations of being a male from birth to death. Me? I look past most of the religious aspect references except the ones about ‘elders’. Not that i'm not religious, just been through a lot of blames and accusations from the religious and their book is the only one they read. and the christians of earth do not even really think about what they say. The psychology is priceless in helping understand life and our society. The author is a pastor and adult man therapist. a much worthy read. And the manipulators in my life, let me become, let me change? No, they do not, no matter.
please everyone read and share this knowledgeable book . my favorite self question is 'do you feel real' at this present early sunrise moment about 75-25% real and manipulated. the past few days its been more of 95-5% real - manipulated. think they just had other priorities other than me. for this is kinda unusual. awoke about 3:45am or so, been having coffee - honey lemon tea, and some breakfast and some smokes. its now 7:30am. oddly enough earthly air-waves propigation also seems to be a mood factor, possibly anyway, unsure. just waiting on trouble
what should i say - deeply respect you. for trying to help and there is really nothing you can do to help. no one can. Optimistic, pragmatic, redundant, dogmatic, materialistic and least not forgotten accomplishment rewards of/with pride, confusions also - words with feeling, mood and manipulatable usable and eraseable. from the mid 1980's time into today as experienced, anyway, much longer maybe for some. one trillion sextillion four quaddrillion 10 years and a few weeks ago god was real and adam and eve became somewhat physical. perhaps in a difference universe perhaps without colors other than light and dark perhaps not so far away. perhaps you think me just crazy. thats o.k. too. psychobabble we do not need. of the many different types of loves,
yours truly...me. i hope you find the everything completness and the loving kindness you deserve. it may lay only within the ether of the after somewhere in time. something i hope everyone finds.
will it ever be earthly...ever
be it human or the others.
and if more trouble finds me, so be it.
and trouble found me after this posting within my sleeping dreams of horrors, unbalanced liberty and shame from the manipulator as to void the above emotions.
This morning, different, its been five-six days or so since the dreams and the mood harassing communicators are gifting me a feeling of energetic manic disappointments. This feeling inspires a somewhat mood of stupidity of actions. Like being a smart-ass or sarcastic to someone or simply doing something to get yourself in trouble with others. by being mindful of this experience one can choose the high road of actions and not comply. Just be mindful and let the bastards not be successful. .. Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die. And you will have a window in your head. Not even your future will be a mystery any more. Your mind will be punched in a card and shut away in a little drawer. When they want you to buy something they will call you. When they want you to die for profit they will let you know. So, friends, every day do something that won’t compute. Love the Lord. Love the world. Work for nothing. Take all that you have and be poor. Love someone who does not deserve it. Denounce the government and embrace the flag. Hope to live in that free republic for which it stands. Give your approval to all you cannot understand. Praise ignorance, for what man has not encountered he has not destroyed. Ask the questions that have no answers. Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias. Say that your main crop is the forest that you did not plant, that you will not live to harvest. Say that the leaves are harvested when they have rotted into the mold. Call that profit. Prophesy such returns. Put your faith in the two inches of humus that will build under the trees every thousand years. Listen to carrion – put your ear close, and hear the faint chattering of the songs that are to come. Expect the end of the world. Laugh. Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts. So long as women do not go cheap for power, please women more than men. Ask yourself: Will this satisfy a woman satisfied to bear a child? Will this disturb the sleep of a woman near to giving birth? Go with your love to the fields. Lie down in the shade. Rest your head in her lap. Swear allegiance to what is nighest your thoughts. As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it. Leave it as a sign to mark the false trail, the way you didn’t go. Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary, some in the wrong direction. Practice resurrection.. Thoughts about awareness.
Consider lifetime changes – dimensions – death rebirth and time – conscious of awareness and liminal feelings. The body awareness/communications with spirit.
What is forgotten,
what is just non-awareness at birth? Languages difference before
birth and after. The awareness at/of conception. From two become
one and cellular awareness's, the sperm the egg. Is there a death of
singular of the two when they become one? Or simply growth of each
into one . in castanedas writings it seems something of both
parents leave (die?) of their luminous selves when they have
children.
The age of awareness seems different for some
people have or can recall with technique even their conception event.
The age of maturity and how it has changed through generations present. Feeling more mature at 12 than 22. difference of men and women in age and maturities.
How can an individual be in different dimensional lives at the same time and all have separate awareness complete as you have this very moment in this experience? Your sleeping dream-scapes and actions. Are they in time different or dimensionally different all in the now moment or both individually in different dream experience.
Erasure of experiences as portrayed in the below PDF file.
And in my life,the sneeze, cough, burp, hic-up, fart, pain and disease (moods?) of the physical body being spirit signals of not true, true, mistake, mistaken, no, right and wrong yes and no, lifestyle and direction of.Spirit or the manipulator doing such.
and i'm really not feeling it right now. feeling down, tired not creative thinking mode and will continue later...but as a footnote heard that drinking booze before conceiving causes downe syndrome who knows about smoking dope. bruce lee just taught me in so many words what you think and say about yourself becomes yourself. from life experience from childhood on i was taught from my parents and the communicators in my mind that everything is my fault, everything that happens. and i am fearful to change from the fear of future blames. for if there is any change of attitude then blames will have to be faced. went to a therapist, she was a blinded idiot for i told her of how there is self blame for everything and she didn't address it at all. not one ioda. fucking manipulators of life who do not listen to truth of an external communicator causing nothing but cahoses i am not psychic. you ignorant bastards who just speculate within your ignorant limited knowledge without experiences. and cannot do anything but feel pities within patiences and listen. and as listening, learning of old leadership EVILS and their future distorted cairns. . dear persistant assistant communicator and mood manipulatorwhy do you give solid resolve and just as quickly turn around and give fears and confusions of a schizophrenic mindset! you are nothing but a coward. a fearful dictator a bully and afraid of truth. . admirations, thoughts of...
there is no self admiration of this life. and i do not want any from others. it will be simply your dissapointments. please remember this. life is change and mine will be shown the worst of lifestyle. so it feels. and unless the political climate changes, the world over will be changed as well, and not for the better. children, we all seek admirations. please, use a natural intelligense within maturities way. don't seek, then wait for the natural mature love of another which is not physical but a spiritual love of one another. if epstein has taught us anything it is this. there are many, many who will take advantage of your immaturities in seeking an admiration. you will become a victim, entrapped. and so many immature so called adults do the same...make mistakes in their careers looking for admirations of trying to force promotions. a supervisor once told me a story...that an employee came to his office asking him 'what is MY near future within this job?'. the super was dumbstruck at such a wannabe oof/with needing an unerned admiration and promotion. and super the answer is simple. say if you aren't satisified within your present duty then hit the door. i have 10,000 more just like you who would appreciate your job. and employees first you must be completely satisfied where you are at right now and portray an impecible duty with a job extremely well done and wait for opportunities, not try to force them. clergy and parent. the symptoms are easy to spot. teach your youngsters how not to be taken advantage of, please. and you better not take advantage of. there are plenty who will cut you deep. tell them what they feel we all feel. the need of admirations. teach them what should be by educations and maturities. make it a resoulition in your life adults. . relationships, thoughts of...
alone within myself. no one to share with ,that is like the way i am in knowledge of and of myself. there is no true other me to talk to. known of anyone who has lived in the same cosmic personal way of. no one who really understands the experiences similiar of me. so it is mostly shared within with my cosmic communicators . but there is always fears of betrails even with them. because its not known just who or what they really are. they are sight and sound, feelings and implanted though also at time controllers of actions. anything, mind and body can be manipulated. in the 1960s and 70s they were first person manipulators known as m.k. ultra. today its done with distance using alien technologies. thats all i have to go on as so far as who. other than completely aliens, thats possible as well. and its felt unsafe even to say this. . Nervana Nevada. Thoughts within.
soThe wasp and fly met in the middle of the windows glass. One on one side the other on the other side. And they asked each other at the same time, how did you get past? Unseen to the two was that they both came from the same prison, simply the opposite side. They walked up, down, around until they both died only to be reborn a wasp, a fly both without memory of the prison. An abyss to be within with eternal spirit life memory is better than ignorant paradise. Within your spirit lays the creation imagination and beautiful intent and the ability to form a universe harmonious. Give me a void nothing any day. The infinite is nothing and everything at the precise same time. Ancient river stone lying in the driest of desert beds fill me with your memories. Hidden temple pathways. Lanterns in the skies. Where will be hearing from Mr. Continuous assistant communicator, where next will you take me? Obsidian reflection of the all seeing eye and/or, 'how goes the course' my Americas' astronaut. search your infinite spirit memories, my friends. Search for your infinite hence forgotten. Look beyond the beautiful mesmerizing horizons... . being alone in relationships...
and in the cosmos of life, mine especially there be tons of unknown debris of words and wars of words yet to be in carport and living rooms of clamoring alone. only one person accepts this responsibility of a reality, me. it could be at any moment, a new beginning again within the limitless possibilities of topics. do not think you would accept this lifestyle of/in a silent acceptance of ignoring societies life like i have to be without, and alone but not ever really alone without feeling of you yourself, too ignored. just how it's been for many years past and will continue until death. thats just the way this shit is. so i givith freedom time to others to be themselves and for me to be myself as well. there is understanding of the crazy factor in it and how it seems from experience of the different realities viewed and experienced. after awhile one becomes exausted, depressed after so much clamor. rest, real rest is non-existant for they, it, whatever is always present. as unnatural as it is, sometimes i feel the confusions of total insanities. the truth will drive one insane or give them freedoms. is the manipulator men or the old dominion or both. it is a total invasion of privacy to be within someones thought. but that is the way the invadors live. they know no different.